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Skyman’s Solution to Everything


I gotta go over here and rescue this guy. “Are you joking?” No, let me rescue him! “Even if we had a prisoner by that name, the only way he’d be released is by order of the imperial legion.” Well… “Now I suggest you turn around and go back the way you came.” Fine. I guess I’ll just turn around and leave you alone, I guess… Just go back the way I came…Or… Or, I could do THIS! *Really happy 8-bitty music plays while Dunkey slays and murders every single guard in that place* Hi! I came to save you! “I never thought I’d see another friendly face again.” “We need to get to safety as soon as possible. Let’s move. Yeah, let’s get out of here, this is a spook house. “You’ve given me my life back.” ♪♪ Hey look! I took it away. Failed?! Aw, come on! “What’s the matter? You can’t stand the sight of a strong Nord woman?” ♪♪ *Whistling* You know, it’s like I always say, when I start runnin out of bitches, I’m gonna start killin’ some witches. Engarde! Engarde! Ooh! Dang, that’s the worst way to die. It’s like I say, when I start running out of witches, I’m gonna start killing some big dragon! I always say that Alright my comment earlier… That’s the worst way to die. That’s the worst Oh hi Dunkey, I’m on another sneak mission and I just gotta pick-pocket this guy This is for my new wee wee Ramis video and I’ll just unlock this gate now and the gate even moved the guy and he still didn’t know so you know he just deserves to die That’s how I see it and we gotta lower this drawbridge and then we gotta go into Cobin’s mansion and I’m just gonna sneak in, I’m get what I want, then I’m gonna get out of here. Without I’m just gonna do it all stealth And I’m already found out turns out, ok So ♪♪ There’s gotta be something in this suspicious cabinet Oh! A fake back And there’s a whole dungon under here Dang who made this place OH GOD WHAT C’mon how you gonna have, OH WHAT This Indiana Jones ass closet Somebody get me outta here oh my god, are you, how do you Wha.. Oh m… Ok, one more stair, one more stair I can feel it no more traps Alright, there’s another trap. Like I said when I do a whole sneak mission for goddamn 4 gold and a map I’m just gonna start killing everybody ♪♪ (FOUR GOLD AND A MAP) I HAD TO GO THROUGH INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM TO GET THIS STUPID MAP, GODDAMN CLOSET

Bernard Jenkins

100 Comments

  1. Wait, you have to pickpocket him? I bugged myself into the house all the time

  2. boi and i thought 24k was the purest form of gold. i should tie you to my bed and hit you with a pickaxe.

    just call me machinima.

  3. ok im making my own personal mission to make a mod that puts that music during killcams. fuck you.

  4. Is anyone else bothered by the fact that Dunkey was in Mercer's basement, underneath Riften, but walked all the way to Markarth, i.e. ALL THE WAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MAP to go on his killing spree?

  5. idk why but i always expect hydrocity music to start playing when the invincible music gets to the end

  6. For the sneak mission I glitched onto the roof, using the dash shout to get up onto the thing,I thought that was what I was supposed to do because it worked but hey

  7. Chillrend: Arguably the best Ice-based sword in the game.

    The Lusty Argonian Maid Vol 1: Some bitch-ass porn book.

    –>Gold: Gold.

    –>Map: Quest Item.

    Only takes two of the four. Bro, why?

  8. What's the song that plays when he's killing things in this video?

  9. Fuck Skyrim. I play as a mage class, and the game is so difficult and I get my shit pushed in by mobs of sparrows with whooping cough, and here's this lad playing a pure warrior class, striding gourmlessly across trapfloors without regard and never see his health lower than half.
    This game just punishes you for not playing a warrior class.

  10. Four gold and a map? More like a sword, bust of Gray Fox, pile of gems, and more gold

  11. "Also in this room is the Bust of the Gray Fox, a bowl with various precious gems, a valuable ring, a chest containing a valuable circlet, and the Sneak skill book The Red Kitchen Reader." – Skyrim Wiki. Not just 4 gold and a map my dude.

  12. gets 4 gold and a map in riften.
    gets angry
    travels across the entire map to markarth to be angry

    alright

  13. “When I start running out of bitches, I’m gonna start killing some witches.”—Voldemort, probably

  14. Why did he start slaughtering people in an entirely different city than he did the quest in at the end?

  15. I hope he intentionally walked past possibly the best sword in the game for the lols… because otherwise that was a major waste of the Indiana ass Jones closet

  16. I'm so dumb instead of shooting the lever to the bridge I went on the roof and jumped down instead

  17. A hidden gem in this video is dunkey switching back to the generic steel sword from a much better weapon before he went into the house

  18. Hold up, is nobody going to address the fact that he got pissed off in RIFTEN and went all the way to MARKARTH to rage murder 🤣🤣🤣

  19. Im pissed that you can lower a path to the balcony, cause I had to jump from roof to roof and drop on it from above

  20. Dunkey are you kidding me if you looked to your right of the map their was the chillrind. And when upgrades is one of the greatest swords I the game. XD

  21. Wow this game hasn't aged well. I remember it being damn near realistic, but I could say the same for Super Mario Bros 3

  22. I bet he would do the Indiana Jones Temple for a paper clip

  23. Oi wait, don't go killing everyone!… I know you took a peek at the argonian lusty maid… I bet you took it… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  24. Every single time i try to be sneaky in any bethesda game, i get found out after an hour of sneaking, and end up just killing everyone in 10 minutes. No more sneaks for me. I always go in like fucking John Wick now.

  25. +videogamedunkey Remember when you cared about making video. Remember when you were funny and original? We all need the old DUNKSTER back

  26. What's the name of the really happy 8-bitty music that plays while Dunkey slays and murders every single guard in that place?

  27. This video is dangerously close to a thousand dislikes. It makes me feel very uncomfortable

    Edit: You fuckers, how dare you dislike the video

  28. "Thank you you have given me my life back"
    Dunkey stabs him through chest
    "Oh look I took it Away"

  29. “When I start running out of bitches, I start killing some witches.” -videogamedunkey 2012

  30. For what it's worth, the guard at the start says he won't release the prisoner unless you have Imperial orders. If you bring them the orders, they really do let you leave with the prisoner with zero violence. Ironically, this is one of the few missions you can accomplish without killing anyone.

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